The famous five stages of the grief process were first introduced by Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in the late 1960s. In order to deal with painful loss—especially the sudden loss of a loved one—people experience the stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance.
Although not all grief involves trauma, and not all trauma involves grief, it is always painful. One of the ways people may try to cope with grief and trauma is by numbing themselves through the misuse of substances.
“Grief is one of the core issues to be addressed in treating substance use disorders (SUD),” wrote Marilyn Mendoza, PhD, last year on Psychology Today. “Sometimes the grief comes before the SUD, and at other times the use is intensified by a loss. The combination of trauma and grief can be powerful. Left unprocessed, it eats away at us and can make our lives miserable.”
John Dyben, DHSC, MCAP, CMHP, LCDC, CCS, is chief of research and innovation at the Hanley Foundation, and has decades of addiction treatment experience. During a presentation at The Blanchard Institute’s recent Recovery Awareness Day, Dr. Dyben emphasized the importance of processing grief adequately. “Time does not heal all wounds, time will make them worse. But time can be a healing agent to treat them.” He often encounters patients who are convinced they cannot undo the trauma caused by their intense grief.
“Grief is like beauty,” he said. “Everybody knows what that word means to them but to everybody it’s a little bit different—the experience and how we heal from it is different.”
When we treat the wound, time can become a healing agent but we have to beware of what Dyben called the “closure myth.” Many people believe “If I do A, B, C, and D I will close that chapter of my life and it will make it as if that wound didn’t happen.” He sees patients all the time that simply “want the wound to be undone.” They either believe the trauma cannot be undone or that the therapist should make it go away. In his presentation, Dr. Dyben compared it to surgery: “When the doctor puts the stitches in, it’s only the beginning of the healing process.”
RECOVERY AS GRIEF PROCESS
Healing in recovery is an equally complex process. It may sound strange to people unfamiliar with addiction, but for a successful recovery, it is also important that the patient “grieves” the loss of their addiction. Treating addiction is not just about giving up substances and staying sober. It is also about giving up the way of life that went with it.
Grieving personal losses is an important task for all of us and is also an essential step in addiction recovery. “Usually, by the time someone enters a recovery program, their addicted behavior has likely wreaked havoc in their lives,” wrote Dr. Mendoza. “There is probably not an area of their life that has not been impacted. Health, family, jobs, finances, and relationships have all suffered.” Restoring relationships and a healthy family dynamic are major elements of the Blanchard treatment program.
Our comprehensive family program is designed to integrate families into the recovery process from the very beginning. We offer a structured blend of therapy sessions, educational workshops, and support groups that involve family members throughout the treatment journey.
Blanchard offers more than just a treatment experience. It’s a relationship
“Blanchard offers more than just a treatment experience. It’s a relationship,” says founder and CEO Ward Blanchard. “Patients are with us for several months and families are really required to participate as much as the identified patient. With us, family involvement is more like family restructuring or realignment.”
“During recovery, it is important to have a strong support system, including therapists and counselors,” wrote Dr. Mendoza. The Blanchard Institute is an integral part of such a support system for our clients.
Treating co-occurring disorders such as depression, anxiety, and trauma successfully is not always easy but with evidence-based treatment that addresses the underlying drivers, it can be accomplished. The Blanchard Institute offers a wide range of comprehensive, individualized outpatient treatment programs for substance use and mental health disorders, including outpatient detox, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient, and outpatient treatment.
We cultivate a safe, comfortable environment for clients and their families across North Carolina. Our recovery management and alumni programs support a life-long recovery.
Our admissions process is discrete and confidential. Call us at (704) 288-1097—our experienced admissions specialists will guide you through the process and treat you with the dignity and compassion you deserve.