You’ve known your brother or sister for your entire life — or the majority of it. They likely played an influential role in who you are today. So, no doubt, it’s challenging to see them struggle with substance abuse, causing addiction and family to intertwine in unpleasant ways. But now they’re in a recovery program and you’re likely wondering how you can help. What role can you play in their sobriety journey? The answer is, you can have an influential role yourself in your sibling’s addiction recovery support. Here’s how:
The Sibling Sphere of Influence in Addiction Recovery
Recovery from an addiction is already an incredibly challenging process, but it becomes even more so when someone tries to do it alone. Your sibling needs advocates and ongoing support from others who can encourage them to stay the course in their recovery meetings and sobriety goals. This is why your sibling’s sphere of influence — consisting of family members and other close loved ones — is so vital to their long-term healing.
At The Blanchard Institute in Charlotte and Cornelius, North Carolina, family is in our DNA (just take a look at our logo!); it’s one of our driving passions that guide how we treat addiction. We believe that family and recovery go hand in hand when it comes to overcoming addiction. In fact, we view the family as the hero that comes alongside their loved one and can really help create change in their lives. That’s why we empower family members like you with the addiction education resources they need to be an impactful part of that all-important sphere of influence.
And when it comes to family members and your sibling’s sphere of influence, you as their sibling can be an especially effective change agent in their recovery from addiction.
Why Siblings are a Key Part of the Sphere of Influence
- With the unique bond you have as siblings, you’re a naturally built-in peer who knows them well (maybe even better than other members of your family).
- You both may be wired similarly, so you’re better able to understand where they’re coming from in different areas.
- Your sibling may also look up to you as a role model, so your words and actions can carry a lot of weight in their lives.
Though providing addiction recovery support may feel uncertain or intimidating, you have the opportunity to make a significant impact.
Addiction and Family: The Challenges Siblings Face
As you think about supporting someone in recovery, it’s important to address the challenges you may face in the process, especially when that person is your sibling. At The Blanchard Institute, we’re well aware of the struggles and hurt your brother or sister’s addiction may have caused among the family. Addiction itself is a traumatizing experience — both for the addicted individual and their family. As a sibling, it can severely shake your beliefs and values, as well as undermine your self-esteem, security, and trust, according to the Journal of Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing.
Your sibling’s addiction may have even led to various family members taking on unhealthy roles in response, including you. Some family members may have done what they thought was helpful only to realize later they were enabling addiction instead. While your sibling and their issues were the main focus of attention in the family, you may have tried to take control of the situation, felt anger or resentment toward your family and your sibling, or you may have distanced yourself or turned inward, lacking the support you needed from your family during this trying process.
Though these challenges may have occurred in the past, their sting may still linger today. Not only is it good to be aware of this as you attempt to help your sibling in recovery, it’s also important to know that you may face new challenges during your sibling’s various stages of addiction recovery. These may include:
- Taking on additional responsibilities in the family while your sibling is in recovery
- Having mixed emotions toward your sibling that are in conflict with one another, such as relief that they’re getting help but sadness and anger for past drama and pain
- Feeling guilt about any role you may have played in their addiction
- Experiencing shame and embarrassment due to your sibling’s actions and choices
- Being afraid that your efforts won’t actually help your sibling
- Worrying that you’ll let your guard down and they’ll relapse, causing more pain in the family
Caring for Yourself While Providing Addiction Recovery Support
The fact that you’re wanting to help your sibling during addiction recovery already puts them in a better position to stay sober long-term. But in order to be the change agent your brother or sister needs in this vulnerable time, you also need to support yourself. Your own well-being needs to be prioritized considering the addiction and family wounds you’ve carried, as well as the new challenges you may have to address during your sibling’s recovery. With that said, here are a few helpful ways to take care of yourself so you can provide the support your sibling needs:
- Join a Family Support Group: While support groups are important for your sibling during recovery, they’re also important for you (and your family members), too. A family support group can give you the much-needed opportunity to feel seen and heard from people who actually understand what you’re going through, as they’ve been through it themselves. These groups give valuable support, advice, and perspective as you’re navigating recovery with your sibling.
- Practice Self-Care: In order to care for your brother or sister well, you need to take care of your body and mind. Make it a priority to incorporate self-care practices into your schedule, no matter how busy things get. Take a walk, exercise, get a good night’s sleep, eat healthy, and spend time participating in activities you enjoy.
- Seek Family Counseling: Considering the trials you’ve walked through, it may be best to pursue individual or family counseling with a professional therapist experienced with addiction. This gives you a chance to heal any unresolved trauma in yourself so you don’t repeat some of your sibling’s unhealthy patterns.
Family Support in Addiction Recovery: How to Help Your Sibling
Because you play a unique role in your brother or sister’s life as their sibling, any support you provide can make a positive difference for them. You don’t have to be a recovery expert to affect change; there are actually several practical ways you can regularly provide addiction recovery support to your sibling along their journey.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
Encourage and Affirm
Healthy communication is an important part of recovery, especially among your sibling’s sphere of influence. That’s why your interactions with your sibling should be encouraging and not judgmental. Addiction took much of their self-worth and hope, and now they’re starting to get it back in recovery. Your positive affirmations can go a long way in spurring them on. When you see them make progress, be sure to tell them!
Maintain Healthy Boundaries in Relationships
Boundaries are an important tool that protect your sibling from compromising situations or people that could leave them vulnerable to relapse. If you know family members who are enablers or a bad influence, you can help make sure they’re respecting boundaries that your sibling has put in place. Being an ally by helping enforce healthy boundaries in relationships can go a long way in your sibling’s sobriety.
Understand Their Triggers
Because of your unique bond as siblings, you may be more easily able to understand your brother or sister’s addiction triggers than most. That’s why it’s important to help your sibling take inventory of their triggers, and by doing so, you can take proactive steps to help him or her avoid them. By understanding these triggers, you’re aiding in relapse prevention, too.
Spend Time Together
Your sibling is trying to establish healthier habits and rhythms of life in recovery, which can also act as better coping mechanisms when future struggles arise. This may involve distancing themselves from old friends and activities that aren’t supportive of their newfound sobriety, leaving them with extra time on their hands. This is where you come in. Recovery is a great opportunity for you to spend more time with your sibling, seeking out opportunities to have fun without drugs or alcohol. As you spend time together, you’re building trust in recovery. Plus, you’re being a good example for your brother or sister to emulate and reestablishing a bond that was likely damaged during their addiction.
Hold Them Accountable
Your brother or sister has stated they want to change, so as their sibling, you can be the built-in accountability partner they need to stick with their recovery. Make time to learn their short- and long-term recovery goals and then see how you can fit into their aftercare plan to reach those goals. This may include giving them rides to recovery meetings in these early stages or attend the meetings with them. Just be careful not to fall into the role of policing your loved one’s recovery. They are ultimately responsible for the choices they make, and no amount of vigilance on your part will ensure they avoid a relapse.
Empowering Families at The Blanchard Institute
If you need further guidance in supporting your sibling’s addiction recovery, we can help at The Blanchard Institute. As an addiction and mental health treatment clinic, we take a family-centered approach to therapy. That means we provide numerous family support programs — including family workshops and support groups — that empower you as a family to help your loved one heal. To learn more about our programs in Charlotte and Cornelius, North Carolina, contact our team today.