Is your loved one in treatment for addiction? If so, they need you now more than ever. At The Blanchard Institute, we know that family members like you play an integral role in your loved one’s recovery and ongoing healing. That’s why we don’t just treat the individual, we equip families with the knowledge and tools they need to know how to help someone with addiction. With your intentional support as an ally, your loved one can change the narrative in their story and reclaim their life.
How to Help a Loved One With Addiction In Everyday Interactions
Sure, supporting someone in recovery involves taking certain proactive steps to help them directly (more on that later). But it’s equally important to understand that being an ally for your loved one right now is also simply about how you interact with them on a daily basis. Addiction and family roles are very much intertwined, for better or worse. Choosing to be an ally in your interactions instead of enabling addiction can go a long way in healing your loved one — and in healing the family. How can you ensure you’re being an ally, though? Here are a few strategies to adopt when you’re around your loved one in recovery:
Empathy
It’s easy to point fingers at your loved one, place blame, and even feel frustration and anger about their actions and life choices. Their addiction may have caused real pain and suffering in the family. But their addiction has also caused pain and suffering in their own lives. And they’re taking steps to change that for the future. That’s why it’s important to have a posture of empathy towards your loved one in this season. In fact, the most powerful words you can say to someone who’s struggling are “me too.”
Empathy is defined as being aware of, understanding, and relating to someone else’s feelings and experiences. You’re essentially trying to walk a mile in your loved one’s shoes. By showing empathy to your loved one, you’re creating an environment of support and affirmation. At the same time, your empathy helps to build trust in recovery, showing your loved one they can lean on you when they’re struggling.
Active Listening
Why is active listening important for your loved one in recovery? For starters, it’s more than just typical listening. It means you make a conscious effort to hear and understand someone else, according to Carnegie Mellon University. You focus all your attention on your loved one, limiting your interruptions while asking open-ended questions. Active listening conveys respect and allows you to build trust in recovery as an ally. The benefits of active listening also create a safe environment for your loved one to actually share what’s going on with them.
Non-Judgmental Attitude
Because you’re likely well aware of your loved one’s struggles and failures, it may be natural to have a bias toward them. However, your loved one has struggled with their own shame, guilt, and embarrassment throughout their addiction. The last thing they need is for you to judge them at a point in the process where they are trying to make a change. Instead, work to adopt a non-judgmental attitude, providing encouragement and being their champion through the highs and lows of recovery.
Understanding Your Loved One’s Adjustments in Recovery
Knowing what your loved one is going through in outpatient treatment will also make you a better ally. At The Blanchard Institute, for example, our Charlotte-based outpatient recovery program helps your loved one transition back into their daily lives by teaching them to apply the skills and strategies they learned in residential treatment. This includes tailored one-on-one and group therapies, life skills development, and community support. Understanding what they’re learning and talking to them about how they’re applying these new skills can go a long way toward healing.
Tips for the Transition
The treatment process is very much a time of adjustment for your loved one and your family. These tips for your loved one to keep in mind — and for you as their family to understand — can help everyone throughout this transitional time:
- Flexibility and time off: Your loved one shouldn’t expect to jump fully back into normal life right away after residential treatment. Outpatient recovery programs last for multiple weeks and require several hours of programming each week. That’s why it’s best to be as flexible as possible in this stage of recovery, not taking on too much at once. They may even need to take additional days off work and other commitments to make this happen. Your loved one’s sobriety should remain first priority, which means they may not be as available for family needs in this season. Taking the time to do recovery right, though, by stepping down to outpatient to bridge that gap between residential treatment and returning to everyday life, can make a big difference in future success.
- Participating in family rhythms: While your loved one needs flexibility to prioritize their recovery, it’s still important for them to be involved in the family. This is especially true if your family is focused on being their ally. Addiction thrives in isolation, so having community and loving support is crucial to your loved one’s ongoing sobriety. While understanding their therapy demands in this season, be sure to still invite them to family events and gatherings. Yet also make it a point to learn their addiction triggers so your family outings set them up for success instead of leaving them vulnerable to relapse.
- The possibility of relapse: Relapse is always a possibility in recovery, especially during the first year of sobriety. Despite best laid plans, it can still happen. When relapse occurs, it doesn’t mean recovery has failed. Many addiction treatment programs offer help for those who’ve relapsed to get back on track. Our Change Agent program in Charlotte, for example, provides ongoing support and resources to treatment alumni, while giving your loved one the opportunity to provide hope to others in recovery, too.
How to Help Someone With Addiction: Proactive Ally Measures
Understanding how to help a loved one with addiction recovery also means taking proactive steps to foster a supportive environment. The actions you and your family members pursue as allies can make a major impact on your loved one living a happy and fulfilled life post-treatment. Here are some intentional, proactive ways you can protect, advocate, and support your loved one’s long-term sobriety in recovery:
Educate Yourself
Knowledge is power. When you make it a priority to educate yourself about addiction, you can become an even stronger ally in your loved one’s recovery. Not only can you better understand what your loved one has gone through (helping you to empathize), you can also better support their sobriety needs. Because we believe so much in the family’s role within a loved one’s sobriety, The Blanchard Institute offers several educational resources to empower your allyship.
Say “No” to Enabling Addiction
Enabling someone with an addiction happens in many families, believe it or not. But what is enabling in addiction? Here are a few examples:
- Being in denial about your loved one’s addiction
- Using substances with your loved one
- Agreeing with your loved one’s rationale for using
- Minimizing the situation
- Taking over your loved one’s responsibilities
- Protecting their image
SOURCE: University of Pennsylvania
Enabling gets in the way of your loved one’s healing. That’s why it’s important to stop any enabling behaviors as a family, which may even mean confronting enablers directly as an ally.
Respect Boundaries
Healthy boundaries in relationships are vital to your loved one’s sobriety. Examples of healthy boundaries can include not going to a family event where alcohol is present or choosing not to stay out late. If your loved one needs to place boundaries in the family, it’s nothing personal. Being a good ally means respecting boundaries and encouraging others to do the same.
Be Part of a Relapse Prevention Plan
Your loved one will likely develop a relapse prevention plan as part of their outpatient recovery. As an ally, this is an excellent opportunity to learn what their plan entails and offer to be part of it yourself. Helping your loved one make time for self-care, understanding their addiction triggers, and assisting them in finding a support group are just a few ways you can take an active role in relapse prevention.
Support and Resources for Allies
Making a long-term commitment to support your recovering loved one as an ally takes effort on your part. Being the best ally for your loved one also requires a commitment to getting the help and support you need during this process. In fact, many families of addicted loved ones traditionally struggle to get the support and resources they need, hindering their ability to help their loved ones as a result. We understand this at The Blanchard Institute, which is why we offer a variety of specialized resources and support specifically for families like yours, including:
- Family support groups
- Counseling for families
- Family communication techniques
- Family workshops
- Family-focused articles
Our recovery programs in Charlotte and Cornelius, North Carolina take a family-centered approach to addiction treatment at each stage of your loved one’s recovery journey. By serving as an ally for you throughout this process, we can help you become the ally your loved one needs throughout their recovery, too. Contact us today to learn more about our comprehensive, family-focused addiction treatment programs.